


Filmed Before A Live Studio Audience

by dontcare77ghj



Series: WandaVisionReader [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, WandaVision (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1950s, Domestic Fluff, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Misunderstandings, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:08:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29894037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontcare77ghj/pseuds/dontcare77ghj
Relationships: Vision (Marvel)/Reader, Wanda Maximoff/Reader, Wanda Maximoff/Vision, Wanda Maximoff/Vision/Reader
Series: WandaVisionReader [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2197974
Comments: 3
Kudos: 47





	Filmed Before A Live Studio Audience

Wanda x reader x Vision

Non-reader POV

Wanda and Y/N Vision were in the kitchen, ready to start their morning.   
Y/N was brewing coffee, extra strong like she liked, while Wanda levitated dishes away.   
Vision soon entered the kitchen, his head down, reading a newspaper.  
Vision's head snapped up when one of Wanda's teacups hit him in the head.  
"My wife and her flying saucers." Vision said, not looking very surprised.  
"My husband and his indestructible head." Wanda smiled.  
"My idiots," Y/N said, raising her cup of coffee, causing Wanda to laugh.  
"Aren't we a fine pairing?" Vision asked, looking between his wives with a smile.  
"What do you say to silver dollar pancakes, crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs, freshly squeezed orange juice, and black coffee?" Wanda asked her husband and wife as she breezed over to the icebox.   
"I say 'Oh, I don't eat food," Vision told her, matter-of-factly.  
"Oh, no matter. How about you, honey?" Wanda asked, turning to Y/N.  
"I've already got my breakfast," Y/N told her, taking a sip of her coffee.  
"That is not breakfast," Wanda said, placing her hands on her hips and raising a brow at the woman.  
"Darlings?" Vision interrupted. "Is there something special about today?"  
"I know the aprons a bit much but, I am doing my best to fit in," Wanda said, causing Y/N to smile.   
"No, no, there on the calendar. Someone's drawn a little heart right above today's date." Vision informed the two.   
Both women moved over to the calendar, where sure enough, a heart did sit in today's date.  
"Oh, of course, the heart," Y/N said, cocking her head at the calendar. "The heart on the calendar. The heart on today's date."  
"Well, don't tell us you've forgotten, Vis," Wanda questioned the android.  
"Yeah, Vis, have you forgotten?" Y/N asked, playing along with Wanda, despite having no clue herself.  
"Forgotten? Oh, girls, I'm incapable of forgetfulness. I remember everything. That's not an exaggeration. In fact, I'm incapable of exaggeration." Vision said, leaning on the counter.   
"Are you gonna tell us what's so important about today's date?" Y/N asked, raising a brow at the man.  
"What was the question again?" Vision asked after a second. "Perhaps you've forgotten yourself. Perhaps the both of you have."  
"I couldn't have forgotten. I've been preparing for this for weeks." Y/N fibbed before the two of them faced Wanda.  
"Me? Heavens no. I've been so looking forward to it." Wanda denied.  
"As have I. Today, we are celebrating..." Vision started.  
"You bet we are. It's the first time we..." Wanda continued before stopping herself.  
"Go on, Wanda." Y/N prompted. "First time we?"  
"...have ever celebrated this occasion before." Wanda finished.  
"Smooth, sweetheart. Very eloquent." Y/N smirked.  
"It's a special day!" Vision concluded.  
"Could be an evening," Y/N suggested.  
"Of great significance." Vision continued.  
"To us all!" Wanda cheered.  
"Naturally."  
"Obviously."  
"Clearly."  
"Exactly. Well done us." Vision said before letting out a loud exhale. "Well, that's me off to work then." He continued, kissing both women before heading to the door.  
"Don't forget!" Y/N called, stopping the man in his tracks.   
"I haven't." Vision said, turning to the two of you before Wanda gestured to her face. "Oh." Vision chuckled before changing into his human disguise. The man threw two kisses to Y/N and Wanda, which the two both caught. "Have a good day, darlings!"  
And with that, Vision was off to work.   
Once the door had shut, both women moved back over to the calendar.  
"Do you know what it means?" Y/N questioned her wife.  
"Absolutely no clue." Wanda shook her head.  
Before either woman could further question the mysterious heart, there was a knock at the front door.  
And then several more.  
Y/N put down her coffee mug as she and Wanda moved to the front door. When Wanda opened the door, there stood a dark-haired woman, holding a plant in her hands.  
"Oh! Hello, dears. I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right. My right, not yours. Forgive me for not stopping by sooner to welcome you to the block. My mother-in-law was in town, so I wasn't." The woman, handing over the plant to Wanda with a laugh. "So, what are your names? Where are you from? And most importantly, how's your bridge game?" Agnes asked, letting herself into the home.  
"I'm Wanda." Wanda introduced, holding her hand out.  
"Wanda, charmed." Agnes smiled, gently taking the hand.  
"And I'm Y/N," Y/N said, also holding a hand out.  
"Lovely to meet you," Agnes said, shaking Y/N's hand. "Golly! You settled in fast." Agnes commented, looking around the room. "Did you use a moving company?"  
"We sure did! Those boxes don't move themselves." Y/N smiled, discreetly knocking her hand against Wanda's side.  
"So what's a couple of single gals like you doing rattling around this big old house?" Agnes asked, taking a seat on the sofa.  
"Oh, we're not single." Wanda denied.  
"We're married," Y/N explained.  
"To each other and a man," Wanda added, gesturing between herself and the other woman.  
"Oh, well, I didn't see any rings," Agnes said almost apologetically.  
"Well, we assure you, we are married," Y/N told her.  
"To each other and a man. A human one and tall." Wanda rambled.  
Laying it on a little thick, sweetheart. Y/N chided her wife mentally before telling Agnes,   
"As a matter of fact, he'll be home later tonight for a special occasion."  
"Just the three of us." Wanda nodded.  
"Oh, is it somebody's birthday?" Agnes wondered.  
"Not a birthday."  
"Well, today isn't a holiday, is it?"  
"No, it's not a holiday."  
"An anniversary then?"  
"Yes! Yes, yes! It's our anniversary!" Wanda clapped, sharing a relieved look with Y/N as the two took a seat on the sofa.  
"Oh, how marvelous! How many years?"  
"Too long. Much too long." Y/N said, causing Agnes to chuckle as Wanda lightly hit her thigh.  
"Feels like we've always been together," Wanda informed Agnes.  
"Lucky girls. The only way Ralph would remember our anniversary is if there was a beer named June 2nd." Agnes joked, causing the other two women to laugh. "So what do you have planned?"  
"Planned?"  
"How do you mean?"  
"For your special night. A couple of young things like you two don't have to do much, but it's still fun to set the scene." Agnes told the two. "Say, I was just reading a crackerjack magazine article called, "How To Treat Your Wife, So You Don't Lose Your Wife." And let me tell you, what Ralph could really use is, "How To Goose Your Wife So You Don't Lose Your Wife," Hang on, I'll go grab it, and we can start planning. Oh, this is gonna be a gas." Agnes smiled before leaving through the front door.  
"Did we just get hit by a tornado?" Y/N asked, turning to her wife.  
"At least this tornado is helpful. We just have to clean up after yours." Wanda joked.

While Y/N and Wanda were getting to know their new nosy neighbor, Vision was sitting in an office, attempting to drown out the office's background noise.  
Or you don't out Friday night Yakety yak!  
You just put on your coat and hat!  
"Here are those computational forms that you requested, Norm." Vision said, rising to a stand and placing copious files on the man's desk. "There you go."  
"Gee willikers, that was fast! Hey, the music isn't bothering you, is it, pal?" Norm wondered.  
"In terms of distraction from work or the largely nonsensical nature of the lyrics?" Vision wondered.  
"The first one."   
"Ah, no, thank you, Norm."  
"Hey, is there somethin' I can help you with, buddy?" Norm asked, standing from his desk.  
"Yes, as a matter of fact, there is. Would you be so good as to tell me what it is we do here exactly? Do we make something?" Vision asked, putting a hand on the shorter man's shoulder.  
"No."  
"Right. Do we buy or sell something?"  
"No and no."  
"Then what is the purpose of this company?"  
"All I know is, since you've gotten here, productivity has gone up 300%," Norm said, handing a file to Vision.  
"Yes, but what is it we are producing?"  
"Computational forms. And no one can process the data quite like you do, pal. You're like a walking computer."  
"What? I most certainly am not. I'm a regular carbon-based employee made entirely of organic matter, much like yourself, Norm." Vision said, slamming the file down onto the stack.  
"Hey! What's got your feathers all ruffled?"  
"I'm sorry, I'm a tad on edge. You see, it appears there's something special about today, special to Y/N and Wanda, they're my wives, and gee, I can't, for the life of me, recall what it is." Vision explained before a door opened, and he and Norm rushed back to their desks.  
Mr. Hart, the boss of the building, was a balding man but was not one to be trifled with. Or to be disappointed.  
"Vision." Mr. Hart deadpanned, now standing directly behind the man disguised android.   
"Yes, sir?" Vision asked nervously.  
"Wife and I are looking forward to this evening," Hart informed his employee.  
"Mr. Hart, of course!" Vision said, forming a heart with his hands. "Dinner with Mr. Hart and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart."  
"That's what I said. What's wrong with you? Have you got a screw loose?  
"Oh no, sir. Screws are tightened." Vision assured him, not understanding the quip.  
"Yes, I should hope so. Employee dinners are a rite of passage for the new hires."   
"Indeed?"  
"Jones over there failed miserably. Isn't that right, Jones?" Mr. Hart asked a man exiting an adjacent office, a box of possessions in his hands.  
"My wife thought five courses would be sufficient," Jones informed Vision.  
"And there was that paltry excuse for entertainment." Mr. Hart shook his head.  
"My husband's string quartet?"  
"And then you had that embarrassing display of beatnik enthusiasm." Mr. Hart added, closing his eyes in distaste.  
"I wore a turtleneck."  
"Yes. Best of luck out there in the unemployment line, Jones. You know I owe my success to being a keen judge of character. No skeletons in your closet, eh, Vision?"  
"I don't have a skeleton, sir." Vision said, sinking back down in his chair.  
"Glad to hear it. Your future in this company depends on it." The boss said before walking away.   
As his boss walked away from him, Vision began to fidget worriedly.  
Tonight had to go smoothly.

Back at the house, Wanda and Y/N were sitting on the sofa, notepads in their hands, while Agnes sat before them, reading through a magazine.  
"And you don't have a song? Nothing special you played at your wedding?" Agnes checked.  
"No, nothing special." Wanda shook her head.  
"Nothing I can think of." Y/N agreed, taking a sip of her coffee. To be honest, she couldn't really remember their wedding. She chalked it up to nerves and her excitement of the day.  
"I'll just loan you some records then. So we've got the music covered, decor, wardrobe. Oh! What about seduction techniques?" Agnes asked with a wink.  
"Oh, we have those," Wanda said, looking over at Y/N with a smirk.  
"Of course you do." Agnes smiled, looking between the girls.  
"Just out of curiosity, what does it say?" Y/N wondered.  
"That you should stumble when you walk into a room so he can catch you. It's romantic." Agnes told the two.  
"Any other tricks?" Wanda asked, taking notes of everything that was said.  
"You could point out that the death rate of single men is twice that of married men," Agnes suggested.  
"Now that's romantic," Y/N said. The three were laughing at Y/N's words when the telephone began to ring.  
Wanda stood, smoothed her skirts, and flitted over to the telephone.  
"Vision residence." Wanda greeted.  
"Wanda, darling." Vision sighed in relief.   
"Vision, sweetheart." Wanda greeted with a smile.   
"Listen about tonight..." Vision started but was interrupted by Wanda, who assured him,  
"Don't worry about tonight. We have everything under control." She said, sharing a look with her wife.  
"Oh well, that is a relief. I must confess I'm really rather nervous." Vision admitted.  
"Nervous? Whatever for?"  
"Well, you know, darling, I still get a little tongue-tied."  
"Vis after all this time."  
"There's an awful lot riding on this one, Wanda. If tonight doesn't go just so, I think this could be the end." Vision said, causing his wife's face to fall.  
"Well, it's just one night. There's no need to get dramatic." Wanda tried to assure him.  
"Look, I think the best course of action is to surprise the wife," Vision told her.  
"And we think the best course of action is to impress the husband," Wanda said, looking at Y/N and Agnes, who gave her thumbs up.   
"Well, wonderful! Glad to know we're both on the same page. Until tonight, then, my darling."   
"Until tonight."   
After Wanda put the phone down, she turned to the two women on the sofa and clapped her hands.  
"Ladies, shall we continue?"

Vision had long since finished his office day.  
After the workday had finished, Vision had followed Mr. Hart to his home, where he was introduced to Mrs. Hart before the three made their way to Vision's home.  
"Here we are." Vision announced, opening the front door. Instead of finding either of his wives waiting in the living room, Vision found his home dark.  
The only sources of light were coming from the copious candles littering the home.   
"Oh! How very atmospheric." Mrs. Hart complimented, entering the home with a smile.  
"What's going on here, Vision? You blow a fuse?" Mr. Hart demanded, looking less than impressed.  
"Pardon me while I fetch the ladies of the house." Vision excused himself before entering the kitchen.  
As Vision disappeared through the kitchen door, Y/N and Wanda appeared in the living room. Both were dressed in a similar negligee that they had chosen for the special night. Y/N stood a step behind Wanda, holding two champagne-filled glasses, while Wanda moved behind who she assumed was Vision.  
"Guess who?" Wanda cooed, wrapping her hands around the man's eyes.  
"Wanda!" Vision exclaimed, exiting the kitchen and turning the lights on.  
"Vision?" Wanda asked, head snapping towards the man.  
"Y/N?" Vision asked, spying his other wife watching in shock.  
"Vision?" Y/N wondered before Wanda let out a gasp and jolted back from Mr. Hart.  
She let out another gasp as she realized what she was wearing.   
"Oh!" Wanda exclaimed quietly, pulling her gown close.  
Realizing she was in a similar situation, Y/N put the glasses down and crossed her arms.  
"What is the meaning of this?" Mr. Hart demanded, glaring at the three.  
"Well, the meaning of this, the meaning of this is..." Vision stuttered, struggling to find an explanation.  
"You want to know the meaning of this? And the meaning of this is that this is the traditional Sokovian greeting of hospitality." Y/N said as she and Wanda quickly moved to stand near their husband.  
"Exactly!" Vision nodded before putting his hands over Wanda's eyes. "Guess who?"   
"Is that my host behind me?" Wanda asked before turning to Vision.  
"It certainly is!" Vision said, taking Wanda's hand into his.  
"Lovely to make your acquaintance." Wanda continued, shaking his hand firmly.  
"Yes!" Vision chuckled, relieved at the lie. "I must have forgotten to tell you our wife is from Europe." Vision informed the couple before them, holding onto both his wives' hands tightly.  
"Oh, how exotic!" Mrs. Hart commented with a polite smile.  
"We don't break bread with Bolshelivks." Mr. Hart deadpanned, still staring in distaste.  
"Oh hush, Arthur! Have you no culture at all." Mrs. Hart admonished, lightly hitting her husband's arm. "And my, those dresses." She added, gesturing to Wanda and Y/N's state of dress.  
"Yes, they're so, they're so..." Vision was once again at a loss of words.  
"They're so Sokovian that's what they are!" Wanda said, forcing out a polite laugh.  
"They most certainly are! We like to embrace Wanda's culture like it's our own." Y/N added with a smile.  
"Can we just see you in the kitchen for a moment, sweetheart?" Wanda asked, pulling a scrap of fabric off a nearby lamp as Y/N blew out some of the many candles.  
"Oh yes." Vision said, allowing his wives to pull him into the kitchen.  
"Who are those people?" Wanda demanded once inside the kitchen.  
"What are you wearing?" Vision asked, looking the two up and down.  
"And why are they here?" Y/N inquired, folding her arms once more.  
"What are you wearing?" Vision questioned once more.  
"Well, it's our anniversary!" Wanda explained.   
"Our anniversary of what?" Vision was confused.  
"Vision now is not the time to debate your failing memory processors." Y/N sighed as she and Wanda stormed to the other side of the counters.  
"That, that man through there is my boss, Mr. Hart!" Vision declared., pointing at the closed blinds. "And his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart. The heart on the calendar was an abbreviation!" He told the two of you.  
"You move at the speed of sound, Y/N makes a storm with her pinky, and I can make a pen float through the air. Who needs to abbreviate?" Wanda questioned incredulously.  
"Darlings, listen, it's all so romantic. The candles, the music, those outfits," Vision said, looking the two of you over before continuing. "Look, I don't want to be unappreciative right now but,"  
"Your boss and his wife are expecting a home-cooked meal?" Wanda asked, raising a brow.  
"Exactly." Vision sighed, his hands falling limply to his sides.  
"Any way we can split a chocolate-covered strawberry four ways?" Y/N wondered, turning her gaze to the table where said item lay.  
"I might have a better idea," Wanda said, snapping her fingers and changing herself and Y/N into more appropriate clothing.

Wanda and Y/N had banished Vision back to the living room to entertain the Harts.  
"So I said, "If we orient the forms horizontally rather than vertically, we can twice the paper, and we can bill twice the cost." Mr. Hart recounted, causing Vision to laugh while Mrs. Hart looked bored out of her skull.  
"You truly are a pioneer!" Vision complimented. "But the larger purpose of the forms is," Vision trailed off, still unsure exactly what he did for a living.  
"Was to analyze our input and output."   
"Huh."  
"You're awfully dense, aren't you, Vision?"

Back in the kitchen, Wanda and Y/N were gratefully welcoming Agnes in through the back door.  
"Oh, Agnes! You're a lifesaver!"  
"Well, what kind of housewife would I be if I didn't have a gourmet meal for five just lying about the place?" Agnes laughed, setting bags, pots, and pans on the counter. "Not that Ralph ever wants to eat anything but baked beans, which explains a lot about his personal appeal, mind you." She added before dropping a pot. "Oh my!"

At the sound of something crashing, Vision rushed to his feet with Mrs. Hart on his heels.  
"Do you think Wanda and Y/N need some help in the kitchen?" Mrs. Hart wondered. "We haven't any tidbits or tartlets out here, nary a pig in a blanket." She said as Vision blocked the door.  
"Oh, no, that's so very kind of you, Mrs. Hart." Vision said, only to hear more crashes and clatters. "But I am sure they're completely fine in there!" Vision exclaimed the last part loudly as he led Mrs. Hart back to her seat.

"Oh, thank you, Agnes, but I think we've got it covered from here," Y/N said as Wanda began to push the woman towards the door.  
"Are you sure, dears? Many hands make light work, and many mouths make good gossip." Agnes teased.  
"You are so naughty." Wanda forced a chuckle, reaching for the door.  
"Shall I just preheat the oven?" Agnes wondered, moving out of Wanda's hold.  
"That won't be necessary," Wanda assured her, moving Agnes back towards the door.   
"Oh, well, I know you're in a pinch, so this menu can be done in a snap," Agnes said as the door opened, but she moved back to the counter. "Lobster Thermidor with mini-minced meat turnovers to start. Chicken a la King with twice-cooked new potatoes for your second course," Agnes continued as Y/N and Wanda both took hold of her arms and steered her back to the door. "And Steak Diane with mint jellies for your main," Agnes said, clapping her hands together. "Do you set your own jellies, dears?"  
"Yes, of course."  
"Doesn't everyone?"  
"Good girls." Agnes grinned. "Recipe cards are on the counter there. Bon appetit!" Agnes cheered as Wanda and Y/N were finally able to get her out of their house.  
"She's a tornado," Y/N muttered as Wanda caused cabinets to fly open and pots and pans to float out.

As loud noises once again rang from the kitchen to the living room, Mrs. Hart rose to her feet.  
"You men stay put. I sense a domestic emergency."   
"Mrs. Hart, please don't. You can't." Vision begged, rushing to stand.  
Vision panicked when Mrs. Hart went for the shutters dividing the room and did the only thing he could think of.  
"Yeah, take out the papers and the trash. Or you won't get no spending cash." Vision sung, snapping his fingers.   
The shutters had been opened, but Mrs. Hart, and Mr. Hart, had turned to Vision before she could see the sight of the kitchen. "If you don't scrub the kitchen floor. You ain't gonna rock and roll no more." He continued as Mrs. Hart began to dance. "Yakety Yak! Don't talk back."  
By the time Vision had finished and Mrs. Hart had turned back, Y/N had already blown the shutters shut.  
"Well, why don't we have a nice sing-a-long, all together then, shall we?" Vision suggested, picking up a ukulele, though he had no idea whose it was.

Y/N and Wanda were trying their hardest to finish all the courses as quickly as they could.  
Wanda was using her magic on the stove while Y/N tried to shock the chicken into being cooked.  
"Oh no, too much!" Y/N gasped when she pulled her hand back, and it was charred.  
Wanda waved a hand at the chicken, and it turned into a basket of eggs.  
"Oh no, not enough!" Wanda panicked. 

"Old MacDonald had a farm." Vision sang, strumming the ukulele.  
"Ee-I-Ee-I-O." Mrs. Hart added with a smile.  
"And on that farm, he had a" Vision turned to Mr. Hart, who was not in the mood to play along. "Pig."  
"Ee-I-Ee-I-O."  
"With a,"  
"Oink, oink,"  
"Here and a,"  
"Oink oink,"  
"There."  
"Here an oink, there an oink."  
"Everywhere an oink, oink."  
"Old MacDonald had a farm."  
"Ee-I-Ee-I-O."

"Oh, what were we supposed to do next?" Wanda panicked as the recipe cards floated around her.  
Nothing was going the way it was supposed to.   
The kitchen was a mess. Bowls were floating everywhere, ingredients were on the floor and walls.  
"Steak," Y/N said, pulling an overflowing pot off the stove.   
"Steak. Steak. Steak." Wanda mumbled to herself as she searched the floating cards.

"Diane!"   
"Yes?" Vision called, causing both Hart's to look at him in confusion. "I think that must be my wife summoning me."  
"She calls you Diane?"   
"Yes, it's their pet name for me. I'm just coming, Fred. Be there in a second, Mark." Vision said before jumping to his feet. "Excuse me for a moment."

When Vision rushed into the kitchen, he saw Wanda attempting to float two lobsters into a large pot.   
Wanda, startled at Vision bursting into the kitchen, caused both lobsters to fly out an open window.  
"How can I be of assistance?" Vision asked, pulling the window shut.  
"Well, the chicken is no longer a chicken, and the lobsters just flew the coop, so the steak is the last man standing," Y/N told the man.  
"It says here we can cut down the prep time with a meat tenderizer." Wanda read off the card.  
"Excellent plan. Where's the tenderizer?" Vision asked.  
"We're looking at him," Y/N said as she handed Vision the tenderizer.  
"Hoo-hoo in there." Mrs. Hart said, pulling the shutters open.  
"Hoo-hoo, back to you." Wanda said, pulling the shutters shut and locking them this time."  
"Finish the meat, try to find the lobsters. We'll be right back," Y/N said as she and Wanda pulled their aprons off and left into the living room.  
"I hope you're hungry," Wanda commented with a chuckle.  
"Starved is more like it." Mr. Hart grumbled.  
"My head is starting to feel woozy." Mrs. Hart informed her hostesses.  
There was a loud bang from the kitchen that caused all four people to startle.  
"I'll be right back," Y/N said, turning back to the kitchen. "Wanda, will you entertain our guests?"  
Once Y/N had disappeared behind the door, Wanda struggled to think of something to say.   
"Were either of you aware that married men are killing single men at an alarming rate?" Wanda blurted out.   
"What are you going on about?" Mr. Hart demanded.   
There was another loud thud in the kitchen, followed by a,  
"Vis!"  
"I'm following the card!"  
"That's not the right card, Vis!"  
"What's going on in there?" Hart asked, beginning to move towards the door.  
Thinking quickly, Wanda let out a loud gasp and fell backward, causing Mr. Hart to catch her.  
Before Hart could ask what she was doing, there was a knock at the door.  
Followed by several more.  
"How could that be?" Wanda asked, jumping upright and rushing towards the door.  
"Coming!" Vision called as he and Y/N rushed out of the kitchen.  
"You didn't answer the back door," Agnes said, standing in the doorway with a pineapple. "For your upside-down cake." She added, handing over the fruit. "Oh, hi, I'm." Agnes began to introduce herself before the door was closed in her face.  
"Who was that?"  
"A salesman!"  
"Telegram!  
"Avon!"  
"A man, selling telegrams and skincare products." Vision explained.   
"Wouldn't you know it, good news is more expensive?" Wanda shrugged.  
"And bad news comes with a face mask." Y/N laughed. "We couldn't find the lobsters," Y/N told Wanda.  
"And did you want the meat tender or pulverized?" Vision asked.  
"Oh, dear." Wanda sighed, stealing the apron from Vision's waist. Wanda grabbed Y/N's hand, and the two raced back into the kitchen.  
"Well, I think tonight's going swimmingly." Vision attempted to make conversation. "Anyone for Parcheesi?"  
"My head is spinning." Mrs. Hart said, taking several steps forward.  
"Oh, Mrs. Hart." Vision said, rushing to help Mrs. Hart to sit and began to fan the woman.  
"Did you hear that? My wife's head is spinning. Generally speaking, I don't like her head to do that." Mr. Hart snapped.  
"Time to improvise," Wanda said, noting how fruitless it was to try and fix dinner.   
"You know, I'm beginning to think you're not management material, Vision. You know, I had high hopes for you, but from what I've seen here tonight, you can barely keep it together. I mean, look around. There's all this chaos going on in your household. Now when are we going to eat?"  
What no-one had noticed during Mr. Hart's tirade was the fact Wanda had created a new meal and set up the entire table.  
"Dinner is served," Wanda announced, standing at the table with Y/N at her side.  
"Breakfast for dinner?" Mr. Hart asked, staring at the food in confusion. "How very,"  
"European." Mrs. Hart said, hitting her husband in the chest.  
"Ooh, let's have a toast!" Vision suggested, rushing over to the set table. "To my beautiful and talented wives!" He said, raising a glass of red wine.  
"To our esteemed guests," Wanda added.  
"And to a lovely evening." Y/N finished before the five clinked glasses.  
"Well, please, eat before it gets cold," Wanda said as she settled into her seat.  
"Allow me." Vision said, pulling out the chair for Mrs. Hart.  
"So where did you three move from? What brought you here? How long have you been married? And why, don't you have children yet?" Mrs. Hart fired off rapidly.  
None of the married pairing had answers for her. All three froze at the questions and struggled to think of something to say.  
"I think what my wives mean to say is that we moved from," Vision started.  
"Yes, we moved from," Wanda tried to add.  
"Well, we definitely moved from," Y/N tried to continue, but she couldn't remember either.  
"And we were married," Vision changed the subject.  
"In a place," Y/N added.  
"Yes, yes, we were married in," Wanda tried to explain, but there were no words. She looked between her husband and wife but saw they too didn't know.  
"Well? Moved from where? Married when?" Mr. Hart demanded, irritated at the lack of answers.  
"Now, patience, Arthur. They're setting up their story." Mrs. Hart scolded. "Let them tell it."  
"We, our story," Wanda chuckled nervously.   
"Yes, what exactly is your story?"  
"Oh, just leave the poor kids alone."  
"No, really, I think it's a perfectly simple question. Honestly. Why did you come here? Why? Damn it, why?" Arthur demanded, slamming his fists on the table. "Why did you,"   
But Mr. Hart couldn't finish his sentence as he began to choke.  
"Oh, Arthur, stop it." His wife rolled her eyes.  
Wanda, Y/N, and Vision all turned to the man, but none of them moved.  
They just stared at him in confusion as Mrs. Hart repeated,  
"Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it." She chuckled. "Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it." She repeated, slowly turning her head towards Wanda as her husband fell out of his chair, still choking.  
Mrs. Hart sounded close to tears as she continued to repeat those same two words.   
But still, no-one moved to help the man.  
It was like there was a fog filling Y/N's mind, and it only started to disapparate when Wanda spoke.  
"Vision help him."  
Vision jumped from his chair and phased his hand into his boss's throat. He found the lump from the man's throat, and when the man could breathe again, Vision helped him sit up.  
"Let me help you up. Give me your hand. All right, steady on, sir." Vision said, pulling the man to his feet.   
Everyone else at the table rose to their feet as Mr. Hart gasped for air.  
"Well, would you look at the time?" Mr. Hart commented.  
"Yes, we better get going." Mrs. Hart agreed.  
"Well, are you both alright?" Wanda asked in concern.  
"We had such a lovely time." Mrs. Hart complimented before putting her hands over Wanda's eyes. "This guest is leaving your home."  
"Yes, thank you for coming." Wanda chuckled, turning around and shaking the woman's hand.  
"You made me proud tonight, son." Mr. Hart praised Vision. "First thing Monday morning, you and me are gonna have a little chat. We'll see about that promotion." He added, shaking Vision's hand with a smile.  
"Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!" Vision grinned.   
"Thank you." Mr. Hart nodded at Y/N and Wanda, who stood by the open door.   
And there on the open door sat one of the missing lobsters causing Y/N and Wanda to look at each other nervously.  
"Oh, what a charming doorknocker." Mrs. Hart complimented obviously before knocking it twice. "Good night!"  
Wanda shut the door behind the woman and leaned against the closed door with a sigh. Vision collapsed against a chair, and Y/N held her head in her hands.  
Now at home and without any guests, Vision let his disguise drop as his wives moved over to the sofa.   
"We are an unusual pairing, ya know?" Wanda commented as she took a seat.  
"Oh, I don't think that was ever in question." Vision chuckled.  
"Normal's overrated, Wand," Y/N assured her wife.  
"No, what I mean is, we don't have an anniversary."  
"Huh."  
"Or a song."  
"Oh."  
"Or even wedding rings," Wanda concluded her list, causing both her partners to look thoughtful.  
"Well, we could remedy that." Vision suggested. "Today could be our anniversary."  
"Of what? Surviving our first dinner party?" Y/N commented, causing her husband and wife to laugh.  
"Precisely. And our song could be?"  
"Yakety Yak. Naturally." Wanda nodded.  
"Naturally"  
"And our rings?" Y/N asked, staring at her naked ring finger.  
"Couldn't you just make some for us?" Vision asked, turning to Wanda. Wanda focused for a second, and suddenly, each of the three had a wedding ring on their fingers.  
"I do. Do you? Both of you?" Vision asked, admiring his ring.  
"Yes. I do." Y/N smiled.  
"I do too." Wanda agreed, grinning at her wife and husband.  
"And they all lived happily ever after." Vision said, leaning to his left to capture Wanda's lips first before leaning to his right and kissing Y/N as well.   
Vision leaned forward to grab the television remote while Y/N and Wanda leaned over kiss each other.   
The three fell back into the couch, wrapping their arms around each other, and settled in to spend a night in on the couch.  
Perfectly content for it to just be the three of them.


End file.
